"Come on, Jennifer. If we don't get into our 2014 Hyundai Elantra with a six speed variable transmission soon. We'll never make it to Pepsi-co Field on time to stop the terrorists. Even with our stylish Hyundai Elantra getting 38 miles per gallon highway and going from 0 to 60 in 6.8 seconds, not even it's 5 star crash safety rating could save us then."
Yeah, it's starting to get that bad.
But what does Jennifer and stopping terrorists have to do with tugboats?
Nothing.
But I'm about to do a shameless product endorsement and I had to lead with something.
We have been in shipyard for the last couple of weeks.
Hence the complete lack of new, funny, and hip stories on this here blog. Aside from the normal "shave and a haircut" for the boat, Mongo and I were tasked with forming our own construction company in order to rebuild the galley. "Two Morons Construction Company" was founded and most of our time was invested on destroying and then rebuilding the galley to our exacting tolerances. Banging on a computer keyboard at night to relay our tales of joy just was not in the cards.
But now I'm on my time off. The Christmas lights have been strung around the house, the mud room cabinets that I promised to build the wife have been built, and mandatory tugboat training has been accomplished. So between getting online Christmas shopping done and playing semi-pro firefighter this week, I finally had time to put zeros and ones out into cyberspace.
Oh yeah, product placement. Right.
During shipyard you get dirty. Depending on what project you are doing (i.e. toilet blowing up in your face) you can get REALLY dirty. After getting dirty, you need to get clean. Which sometimes is an issue when the water pipes to the boat are laying in pieces on the deck of the engine room.
For years the old standby for getting you hands clean has been to use "GoJo", the "Natural Orange Pumice Hand Cleaner".
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| Smells like oranges. Doesn't taste like them. |
After one such day of getting way too dirty, there was a new bottle of hand cleaner in the engine room sink. I had already washed my hands with the old standby GoJo, but was less than pleased with the results. I figured that I would try out some of this new stuff and see if my results were any closer to being actually clean.
Enter... CODE RED. I had neither seen nor heard of it before. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained. It smelled of cherries. I passed on the taste testing part. It had a smidgen of pumice similar to the old go-to GoJo. But immediately upon rubbing it into my previously GoJo cleaned hands, it whisked away any of the remaining dirty, grime, wood glue, sandblasting grit, paint, and whatever else was plastered on my hands. I was thoroughly pleased. This stuff was good. For the rest of the time we were on the boat anytime my hands got too dirty to tell that they were still hands, I went with the Code Red. It never failed to get my hands clean from whatever happened to be ground into them. GoJo had to go. It's Code Red for me from now on.
Now that I'm home, where the Honey-Do list never seems to get smaller, and my hands get just as dirty as in the shipyard, I realized that I MUST get some Code Red. Trouble is, I can't find any. Even my online searches have come up empty on when to find a local retailer. I found where to buy a Main Battle Tank online! You would think I could find hand cleaner!
Alas, the search continues. So if anyone happens to know where I can find it, send me a link. Or a sample. Or a bottle. Or a 55-gallon drum of it. The same holds true for anyone who works for the company that makes Code Red. This is good advertising.
"Jennifer, my hands are so clean from using Code Red hand cleanser I know that we can fool the finger print scanner and stop the terrorists."
You know, product placement.
