Thursday, May 22, 2014


We suck at fishing. That’s not just a statement. That is a FACT. We suck at fishing.

It’s not always go-go-go onboard a tugboat. There are weather delays. Berthing delays. Cargo supply delays. And sometimes they just don’t have anything for us to do. 

So in order to pass the time when we are at anchor, we sometimes throw a hook into the water and see what happens to bite it.
Most of the time, it’s nothing. 

The Redneck happens to have his own personal fishing rod and reel aboard the boat. Strike that…HAD his own personal fishing rod and reel aboard the boat. Right now it is somewhere at the bottom of the ocean attached to some unsuspecting fish who was just looking for a quick bite to eat.
Turns out, you should actually pay attention to what you are doing when you are fishing and have a line in the water. Even though we suck at fishing, even the blind mouse sometimes finds the cheese. Or if you prefer a furry tailed rodent, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. Case in point, even this motley crew of idiots can catch an unsuspecting fish every once and a while. Problem is, when you catch a fish and it takes off with the hook in it’s mouth, you really should be holding onto the fishing rod. Otherwise, said fish, will take the whole rod/reel/line/hook/bait straight down to the bottom of the ocean with him if you don’t provide some sort of resistance. Which is exactly what happened. When fishing, you are supposed to be relaxed, at one with nature, kicking back and enjoying life and some downtime. Not screwing around on your misnamed smart phone. So last hitch we were down one fishing pole.

This trip, coming in for crew change, our misguided and easily distracted fisherman, purchased the Redneck a new fishing pole. Apparently, along with the new fishing pole came not just an extended warranty, but a bit of good luck. Seems you have to sacrifice a random fishing pole to the depths of Davey Jones’s Locker every now and then in order to catch fish.

Our orders were to sail from Corpus and head over to The River. For those unfamiliar, much like The City refers to New York City, The River refers to the mighty Mississippi River. Even if you live near a city or near a river, just saying, “Let’s go to the city” or “Let’s go down to the river” just doesn’t mean the same thing. The City is the Big Apple. The River is Big Muddy. It just is. Deal with it.

Anyways, so we were headed to The River. The trip takes approximately 2 days to go from Point A to Point B. Once again, we thought that we should once again try our luck and to throw out a line with a hook tied to it to see if we could catch something/anything with scales on it. When you suck at fishing, you aren’t too picky.

Midway into the second day of the trip, the phone in the wheelhouse rang. Naturally, I answered it.
“FISH ON!” Screamed the overly excited voice on the other end of the phone.
Wait?...What?!... “Fish on”? Never have those words ever been announced on this boat.
A quick spin around to look out the aft windows of the wheelhouse indeed confirmed the excited announcement. 

We had actually caught a fish!

Mongo. For the ladies.
So pretty. And delicious.
I have no idea how long the fish happened to be on the line before it was discovered. All I know is that it didn’t put up much of a fight when it was getting pulled in. Who cares! We had caught a fish!

A nice one too.
A second call to the wheelhouse confirmed exactly what we all had waited these many long years to hear, “We aren’t having pork chops tonight!”
I suggested that we write on the chalkboard something along the lines of, “Today’s Fresh Catch of the Day”
We were like giddy little school girls. We had caught a fish!
Two hours later, the fish had gone “from bait, to plate” (Nice, right? Feel free to use that one)
So called, “fresh” fish, at the supermarket had nothing on this one. Even “fresh” fish that you can buy down at the fishing piers had nothing on this one.
THIS was FRESH fish.
It was like angels frolicking on your taste buds.
It was the best “Fish Friday” we had ever had on the boat.

Once again, we are headed out to sea. Once again, we are headed through the area where we FINALLY caught a fish. Once again, we will have our lines out in the hopes that something with scales takes the bait. We all have our fingers crossed.

If we don’t catch anything, I’m planning on throwing a rod and reel overboard.

Hey, it worked once already.

1 comment:

  1. PMSL at 'from bait to plate' - I just hope it wasn't a poisonous fish !!!!
    Good luck with your next venture into fishing.