Go towards the light

This post has absolutely ZERO to do with anything crew change related...that will come later.

Like a good husband and father, today I was hanging up our Christmas lights outside. I was stretching up way too high in an attempt to reach the gutter, because some jackwagon decided to put a safety warning sticker on the ladder saying I shouldn't go "above this step", even though I needed to go up at least one more rung in order to properly reach said gutter.
It was at that moment that I felt a pull in my chest muscle region.
It kind of hurt. But, I soldiered on in order to get "the lights hung by the chimney with care".

Later, we were driving over to a friend's house to deliver dinner to her, because that's what friends do, when all hell broke loose.
As we pulled into her driveway, I sneezed.
And proceeded to die.
Or at least that is what I thought happened.
Apparently, when your chest hurts, you shouldn't sneeze.
At all.
Ever.
I put my head down on the steering wheel and cried a little bit inside.
Getting old sucks.
That warning label guy is going to get punched in the face.
Just as soon as I can breath again.

And so begins my time off.