Monday, March 25, 2013

Happy Anniversary(ies)

Working on a boat six months out of the year it is inevitable that you are going to miss some things. 
Soccer games, birthdays, your daughter having an appendectomy, and your anniversary, to name just a few. 

This year, I’m actually going to be home for our anniversary. 

This year, I’m also going to be at work for our anniversary. 

Confused yet? 

Thirteen years ago, the most wonderful woman in the world (not you, Mom), decided it would be a wise decision (up for debate) to say, “Yes”. 

It was a beautiful wedding. The weather was unseasonably warm. We were surrounded by all of our friends and family. The food was fantastic (which included one random order of Cornish Game Hen for my brother, who is just as sarcastic as the rest of the family).  It was a perfect day.

Except we never got married.

Wait? What?

Yup. We never got married.

Apparently, you need to fill out and sign a Wedding License a few days before the actual ceremony. Who knew? Something our Wedding Planner, who we had paid a handsome sum of money to, forgot to mention.  Neither of us had done this before, how were we suppose to know? That is what a Wedding Planner is for!

So we went on our honeymoon. Tried this whole “married” thing out. And when we got home we went and got our Wedding License. So technically, we have TWO anniversaries. 

So when you work on a boat for two weeks at a time, and your anniversaries are more than two weeks apart, you should be home for at least one of them.

So what initially was a HUGE oversight, turns out to work quite nicely.


I think so.

So, a Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife! 
Kind of.
Sort of.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

What Did We Learn?

It was a rough hitch. So we’re going to play a little game called…”What Did We Learn?”
We learned… 

  •  I could care less about logging, logging equipment or anything else related to wood products.
  •  I can lose a chess match, against a computer, on the easiest setting, in 2 moves.
  • It takes 5 months to get a new boarding ladder delivered. When it is finally delivered, it’s broken.
  • A television that runs on 110 volts does not do well when 220 volts gets run through it.
  • Fog sucks.
  • Jalapeno peppers aren’t nearly as spicy the more you get used to them.
  • I miss “The Redneck” (I never thought I’d say that)
  • There is no good place to lose the generator and hence, all power and all control. However, there are better places than others. One bad place to lose the generator is in a narrow channel while approaching a berth.
  • If you have the red light on in the wheelhouse (used to protect your night vision) and you get a nose bleed, you won’t be able to notice it until it looks like a murder scene.
  • Little things, like a new overhead light in your room, make all of the difference.
  • When someone tells you that you are going to be at anchor for a while, just the opposite is true.
  • If you are going to fry your TV, the best time to try to do it is with only one day left in the hitch.
  • Holidays aren’t nearly as much fun on the boat. Especially holidays where the main impetus is getting as drunk as humanly possible. Zero tolerance alcohol policies limit the fun factor.
  • We really could use an anchor that uses chain instead of wire.
  • We really suck at fishing. (At this time this statement is currently up for debate. I’ve been promised we will be better next hitch. We’ll see.)
  • Tin foil makes a terrible temporary fuse. Unless the sole purpose is to make lots of smoke and fire. Then tin foil makes a GREAT fuse.
  • Crew changes down south can sometimes be a pain. On the other hand, shoveling snow is more of a pain.
  • Just when you think you have crew change planned out, the phone rings.
  • The people who overstay their welcome are the absolute last ones to realize it.
  • If you’re pretty sure the TV is dead, but you want to REALLY make sure it is, use a tin foil fuse. This will confirm it’s dead. The smoke and fire are very good proof.

You learn something new every day. Sometimes, more than one thing.
 "Are you SURE it's broken"
 "That will buff out" 

Note: This is NOT the TV we burned up. 
We took the plastic off before we caught it on fire.
We're not stupid.
Which is also up for debate.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Something Looks Different

We started out this hitch -1 on our regular crew. 

“The Redneck” wasn’t going to be with us this hitch because he had just worked for 4-weeks so that “Cupcake” could go to school. Or something like that. So “The Redneck” was leaving to have a month off as we were coming in with “Cupcake” as a fill-in.

Then, halfway through the hitch, “Junior” got transferred to different boat in the fleet. So we went to -2  on the “usual crew o-meter”. 

We did get sent a new deckhand to replace “Junior”. So far we haven’t gotten around to giving him a nickname yet. It’s only been a couple of days. We’re working on it.

Annoyingly, he hasn’t fell victim to “The Contest” yet. Thankfully, “Junior” did before he left, which made his departure a bit more tolerable. Misery loves company. We didn’t want him to escape unscathed.

So, to sum up…

Cupcake is here, Junior is gone, we haven’t come up with a nickname for the new deckhand, and The Redneck is probably passed out in a drainage ditch somewhere. It is St. Patrick’s Day after-all.  

Because he's nautical