That’s just good advice, right there.
This advice is also brought to you today by my six year
old daughter.
Just the other day
my wife recanted a tale of said six
year old, scolding her for texting while in the car. Now granted, she was
stopped at a red light, but ‘Lil’ Suzy Safety’ had to make her feelings known
that even a six year old knows that texting while driving is a REALLY bad idea.
Now, how does this relate to crew change on a tugboat?
Patience, grasshopper.
Once again, crew change was screwed up.
I’ll wait a second while everyone feigns shock and
disbelief.
Upon arrival in Houston I met up with The
Boss. The first words out of his mouth, “Crew change is screwed up.”
This is the point where I feigned shock and disbelief.
The boat was anchored offshore. They had been unable to
enter the port due to f-o-g. Or “Limited Visibility” as we like to call it.
Just because it sounds a little cooler and also that we are a bit superstitious
and try not to use the “F-word”. Or course we use the other F-word constantly. We’re sailors, damn it!
So they were offshore, and aside from swimming out to the
boat, the only way to get there was by launch boat. However, our launch boat (
remember these poor guys) had looked at the sea conditions and decided that a repeat of
the
#1 Stupidest Crew Change EVER! was probably a poor decision and had pulled
the plug on us running offshore.
And since
stringing a bunch of 2x4’s together to build a raft was also voted on as being
a poor alternative, crew change was going to be screwed up.
Hotel rooms were booked. Phone calls were made. People
were informed. E-mails were sent. Everyone was prepared to get aboard the boat
the next day.
Right up until the point where crew change was back on.
And then it wasn’t.
And then it was. Again. Kind of.
No.
Yes.
All of you weather aficionados will like this part... What
happened was, a Cold Front moved through the area bringing with it showers and
thunderstorms.
Along with the rain it
brought a sharp decrease in the temperatures. After the front went through, the
wind switched around from the warm southerly breezes to a cooler northerly
direction. Which then helped to push the warm moist air out of the area and thereby
lifted the f-o-g.
Take that, Cantore!
What it meant for us was, the visibility had lifted, the
pilots were able to sail the ship that was in our berth, and our boat was able
to proceed into the port where we could do crew change on the fly by launch
boat.
No worries, right?
Wrong!
Cancelled plans that had been cancelled had to be
cancelled again. The new plans needed to be cancelled after the other plans
were cancelled. And the newly cancelled plans had to be un-cancelled.
I think.
Seems simple enough.
Except, by this point, we were already on the road. The
Boss was on his cell phone with the office. The boat. The agent. The
launch boat. The port security. The pilots. The dock. The hotel. And just about anyone else who had
a phone. The good thing was, he wasn’t driving.
The bad thing was, the driver (who was supposed to be
driving, it’s right there in his job title!) was on the phone with all of those
people as well.
He was texting and calling all kinds of people. Getting
directions to the new dock where we were supposed to meet the launch boat. Playing
with the navigation program in his phone. Showing The Boss that it was only
0.8 miles from the turnaround to whatever the hell the next road was. Zooming in
on the road to show us where the grocery store was in relation to the dock we
were going to. Etc. etc.
Doing basically everything, except for DRIVING!
We were all over the road. Getting WAY too close to
tractor trailers doing 70 miles an hour. Drifting from one lane to the next.
Straddling the white line between lanes. Doing 60 mph. Then 85 mph. Then
playing with his phone to put some head banger music on the radio. Telling us
that he likes M&M’s and that certain stores don’t have the good M&M’s. Basically, doing everything
that you shouldn’t be doing while driving.
It was very reminiscent of
THIS.
 |
| This place has the BEST M&M's EVER! |
Amazingly, we made it to the launch boat without ending
up upside down in a drainage ditch surrounded by alligators.
 |
| "Hey, is this a 6 or a 9 ?" |
And then proceeded to wait for a couple of hours for the
boat to get to where we were waiting for them.
At least we got to talk to the guys from the launch boat.
Reminisced about the old times. Getting their point of view concerning the
#1Crew Change of Death! Swapping sea stories. Mariner type stuff. I might have
even convinced them to start reading the blog.
Eventually, we managed to find our way aboard the boat. A
few hours late. A few more gray hairs (like I need any more). And just a bit
wiser.
But I think we all learned a very important lesson today.
Don’t text and drive.
That’s just good advice.
Even from a six year old.
